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1. Your place is in the kitchen. If you somehow manage to find work outside of the home, it is because you fucked the interviewer.

2. You cannot participate in sports because no one will want to watch you play. Unless your uniform is a sports bra and spandex.

3. ‘You are not like other girls’ is the best compliment you can receive. Other girls are your enemies because they are your competition. Not in landing a job, but in landing a husband.

4. Homosexuality is okay in pornography. Love and marriage with someone that is of the same sex as you is not.

5. You were asking for it. Despite the fact that he was your friend, despite the fact that you were too inebriated to say ‘yes’, despite the fact that you were passed out. You were asking for it.

6. Wearing revealing clothes makes you a slut.

7. Don’t have sex because everyone will think you’re a slut.

8. The worst thing you can possibly be is a slut.

9. But you still need to be sexually alluring and available. Just not a slut.

10. It is your responsibility not to get pregnant and your responsibility alone. However, if you do get pregnant, you cannot get an abortion because that’s just being selfish.

11. You don’t want to have children? That’s not how things are done. You’re not living up to your role as a woman.

12. Being upset and cognizant of your feelings is a sign of emotional and mental instability.

13. Lose weight.

14. But keep your curves. You’re not a real woman without them.

15. You don’t own the rights to your body.

16. If you notice any discrimination based on your sex or gender, it’s better to keep quiet because you don’t want to upset anyone. Silence is better than making someone uncomfortable.

17. It is your fault for being born a woman. And you should be ashamed.

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absentions, Things society will try to teach my 16-year-old daughter (via absentions)

kirschtein-be-bitchin:

shingekinokyojinheaven:

dragon-in-a-fez:

shingekinokyojinheaven:

i told my mom that god has killed babies in the bible and she didn’t believe me so i searched it up and to my surprise

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wait

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what

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there’s a list???

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JESUS FUCKING CHRIST

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in conclusion god is an asshole

for comparison:

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okay well I mean ten murders is still bad though so

wait

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damn.

god gambles with your souls pass it on

This week on “I Didn’t Know I Was a Satanist”

thevirginityslayer:

edwardspoonhands:

moeranda:

itseliberg33:

can she just get an award or something

I reblog this whenever it pops up on my dash.

So many directions she could have gone with this joke…out of infinite possibilities…she picked the best possible direction.

Best video in the world

lacigreen:

micdotcom:

Forget the spreadsheet, here’s an easy flowchart to know if a women owes you sex

Microsoft Excel took a turn for the explicit this week when the Internet learned the once-innocuous office tool was being used in a dispiriting new bro-trend: using the software to track of the number of times their partners refuse sex. Yes, #sexspreadsheets are a thing, presumably because some men still believe that owning of a penis entitles them to unlimited sexy times.
Sorry, guys, that’s just not the way the world works | Follow micdotcom 


sometimes i just cant believe this is the 21st century

lacigreen:

micdotcom:

Forget the spreadsheet, here’s an easy flowchart to know if a women owes you sex

Microsoft Excel took a turn for the explicit this week when the Internet learned the once-innocuous office tool was being used in a dispiriting new bro-trend: using the software to track of the number of times their partners refuse sex. Yes, #sexspreadsheets are a thing, presumably because some men still believe that owning of a penis entitles them to unlimited sexy times.

Sorry, guys, that’s just not the way the world works | Follow micdotcom 

sometimes i just cant believe this is the 21st century